


Never Leave Home Without It

by TrishaCollins



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Brainwashing is bad mkay, F/M, Gen, Howard is a good person, Objectively terrible father, Peggy is badass no matter what decade, Tony is a punk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 00:49:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12120948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrishaCollins/pseuds/TrishaCollins
Summary: Howard likes to over prepare. The result of that is one confused Super Soldier and more challenges than Peggy or Howard thought they would live to see.





	1. Chapter 1

The man was asleep on the table, though Howard had seen fit to strap him down. An IV ran into his arm, fluids, she presumed. Perhaps sedatives, though Steve had always burned through anything they gave him faster than they could give it to him.

He looked the same - thinner, perhaps, his hair grown out into a shaggy mane, with deep, dark circles around his eyes that reminded her of the day she had met him.

But then, it made sense, didn't it? He had been a prisoner behind enemy lines then, and he had spent longer this time.

Howard was muttering over the arm, detached from the unconscious man. He was occasionally swearing to himself, which was really nothing unusual.

She reached out to touch Barnes' still human shoulder, out of some incurable urge to assure herself that he was real.

"Careful, Peggy, he bites." Howard told her, proving he had been paying attention.

"You are meant to be resting." She told him, hand resting gently on Barnes' shoulder despite the warning. She had dealt with worse than biting these past fifty years.

"Bah. I'll rest plenty when I'm dead." Howard said, dismissive.

"From what I understand, that was what nearly happened." She offered, dry, stroking the exposed skin.

Barnes' eyelids flickered, but he didn't stir.

Howard grimaced. "I had the prototype with me, Barnes never knew what hit him."

"He hit you first, Howard. What if you had not realized what was happening? If you had been stunned in the crash?" She pressed, frowning at him.

Howard changed the subject. "He has something similar to Erskine's formula. Not nearly as refined, but it is a knockoff. It seems to have slowed the aging process, but I can't explain why he looks the same as he did back then." He glanced at the arm. "Almost the same as he did back then. Or how he survived that fall. If Steve had thought there was an even 1% chance Barnes could have survived that, we never would have got him back behind friendly lines."

"Do you think he can tell us?" Her heart ached with the thought of Steve - he hadn't known, would he have done things differently if he had? It was an old ache, one that gnawed deep in her chest, mourning the unfairness of it all.

Howard huffed. "He can't tell us anything. Electroshock, repeated, to the parts of the mind that control memory. I'd be amazed if he remembers his own name. I have a friend of mine coming in. Studies the mind and memory, we might be able to fix it." Howard gave her a helpless shrug. "Until then, I need to come up with something better than this glorified paperweight."

She glanced at the arm, and then at the nub where Barnes' real flesh started. "What did they do to him, Howard?"

"They turned him into...a weapon. A dangerous one, one they could program however they liked. I've been collecting rumors about the Winter Soldier for years. I never..." Howard trailed off, sighing and shaking his head. "They'll try again."

"For you?" She asked, frowning.

"For both of us, Peg." Howard looked briefly pensive, she knew the fact that Maria had been with him had bothered him more than he would like to admit. "The serum made it to its host. That young thing Fury found. She seems to be adapting to it well."

She nodded, hand still resting on Barnes' shoulder. "I am glad of it. San Fransisco, isn't she?"

"Sure is. I might take Barnes there as well, New York is too loud and too close. It's harder for them to get at us there." Howard shook his head, looking up towards the house above them again.

It was also far away from Maria and Tony. "Let me know what happens. I....owe it to Steve."

"I could take Julian with me. I'd say I would take Michelle, but she just had the little bundle, and I doubt she'd want to leave."

She rolled her eyes mildly. "Michelle never tolerated you well as it was, Howard. I will see if Julian is willing to go." She lifted her hand away from Barnes shoulder.

Barnes breathing hitched, and he sighed out as though something had been taken away.

"I'm sorry, James." She whispered, brushing a tangle of the dark hair from his face.

Howard was watching her, so she stepped away. "I'll send for Julian."

Howard gave a small nod. "I'll pack him and give you a call when we get to the facility."


	2. Chapter 2

Barnes was in some sort of holding room, sitting down against the wall the furthest from the door.

Julian bounded to meet her, hand in his dark hair. "Mother! You're early. Who let you in here?"

Wordlessly, she held up her badge, studying the monitor.

Barnes was so still, only his eyes moved. He blinked robotically from time to time.

"Agent." Said a soft female voice.

"Barnett." She returned, still watching Barnes. "He looks like an animal in a cage. I thought you said there was progress?"

Amelia Barnett was a slender, delicate looking woman with big eyes hidden behind think glasses. She was certain that Howard had spent some less than professional time with her in the past.

"There is. He responds to stimuli now. He does have trouble with downtime. Howard plays cartoons for him periodically. Or Baseball Games. We discovered that football tends to be a bit violent for him." Amelia was studying the screens as well, smiling a bit absently to herself.

She grimaced, the woman was talking about Barnes like a toddler, not like the man that he had been. "Can I speak to him?"

Julian looked immediately nervous. "Mother, that might...I mean...he doesn't....He won't remember you. He only remembers Mr. Stark as a....target. Most of the time. That's not Bucky Barnes." Julian glanced at the monitor, face pensive.

"Howard was his target. They may not have thought to program anything about me. I want to speak to him, I owe it to him to give him that much." She owed Steve that much. Steve would have wanted her to try.

Julian pressed his lips, darting his gaze to Amelia. "We can try something when Mr. Stark gets back."

She looked at her son, raising an eyebrow.

He deflated. "There's a...observation chamber. Reinforced. Ah- Well, we can turn off the-blind. Let you talk to him."

Daniel's son was very much like his father.

"I think that will work wonderfully." She told her son. "Have any of the other Commandos been told?"

"They're....talking about having Dugan here by the end of the month, see if he can help. I don't know if they've contacted any of the others. Mr. Stark has been busy." Julian admitted.

Of course Howard was busy, and Tony was stewing in New York, and the sun still rose in the east.

The only thing different was that Barnes was here.

And she owed it to Steve to make certain that whatever was left of his friend in the shell of the man who had been tortured for fifty long years was preserved.


	3. Chapter 3

Barnes was clearly aware that something was up. She could see the tension in his body, the way he had adjusted his weight.

She eased herself down in the chair, folding her hands on her lap. "Hello, James."

His brow furrowed, lips pressing thinner until they nearly vanished.

She studied him intently, letting her gaze linger on the shoulder where nothing had been reattached. "Howard is on his fifth draft to replace that, isn't he?"

James didn't move.

"We never really got along, you and I - sometimes I felt that you believed we were competing. Maybe we were. Steve had that way about him, didn't he?"

The confusion cleared into a flat, empty mask.

She smiled. "I wonder how long it took them to chase his ghost away from you? He tried to get drunk, you know? After you fell. Drank his way through what was left of a bar. It did nothing for him." She could almost see Steve, hunched over a table, staring into the bottle. She leaned forward, peering at him. "If you are half as stubborn as him, Barnes, then I have no doubt there are pieces of yourself you have hidden away. I can help you, but only if you meet me half way."

Barnes was silent, utterly still, watching her like a drowning man.

"Dum Dum will be here at the end of the month." She told him. "I am going to call Morita, Falsworth, and Jones. The rest as well, if Dum Dum thinks they will help. The lot of you were close, if memory serves."

Barnes licked his lips, folding his arm over his knees. But he said nothing.

She sat there, watching him watch her, occasionally telling him stories about her life. About Steve, after he had fallen, about her husband and children.

She had not been so trite as to name her son after Steve, but Julian had 'Stephan' as his middle name, and had once sworn that he would be as good as Captain America. His talents had been more along the line of science than fighting, but she shared those stories of her little boy regardless.

Twice, she thought she saw his lips curve upwards, but he caught the expression before she could be sure.

He was a silent, entirely captive audience, eyes fixed on her, breathing deep and even.

He almost seemed to be in a trance, blinking only when he had to, eyes fixed on her.

Julian arrived with his meal, glancing between them.

She stood, abruptly. "I will see you tomorrow."

And Barnes dipped his head in a shallow, barely perceptible nod.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been nine months since they had captured him, and just over one since she had moved her workload to San Francisco. 

The observation room was more her office than anything, and she had managed to entice Barnes into the occasional conversation, though he wasn't much of a talker. 

She read the morning paper with him, passing the pages through his mail slot and receiving them back when he was done. They discussed stories, argued politics - he had a surprisingly keen understanding of current events - and rolled their eyes as what passed for 'funny' in these times. 

He understood - or seemed to - why containment was necessary. He bathed himself in the attached bath, read from a constantly rotating pile of books, watched the television, listened to music and ate everything they gave him.

Currently, he was doing something she was sure passed as dancing. He was pacing, with one of his blankets wound around his shoulders like a cape, the fingers of his hand knotted in the soft fabric, head bobbing very slightly in time with the song playing overhead. 

It was a strange normal, but until Howard could sort out some method to reverse the current state of James's mind, they were stuck in this strange pattern. 

"Peggy." James said, leaning against the window.

She glanced up from her paperwork. "Mhm?"

"You loved him." The words were said with a slight lift, as though he was questioning. 

"I did." She told him, watching his brow furrow. 

The more time they put between him and whatever process had been used to erase his memory, the more that seemed to return. The method was inelegant, if Howard's scans were any indication, relying on brute force that damaged the brain directly rather than removing the memory. Brute force that caused damage would reverse slowly over time, even if the conditioning remained. So far, Howard's best idea had been to - gently - replicate the conditioning and overlay it. But they hadn't found anyone Howard trusted to complete the process and even then, they would need to convince Barnes. 

Until then, Barnes' memory was a mess of knots and holes. They had spent several days discussing this same topic, almost as though he was checking her stories for inconsistencies. 

"He died." Barnes said slowly, working his jaw slowly. 

"He did." She agreed. 

Barnes looked at her. "That boy is your son. Julian Stephan Sousa." 

She nodded again. 

"He's not Steve's." Barnes said, fingers tracing the fabric of the blanket absently.

"No. He was born six years after Steve died. My daughter isn't Steve's either. I have a husband." She reminded gently.

"Daniel." Barnes repeated, frowning. "He lost his leg during the war."

"Yes. Much like you did." She told him, voice still gentle. 

There was a ghost of a smile, just for a moment. "I hope not." 

She quirked her lips a bit. "Perhaps I wish it was."

Barnes looked confused for a moment, and then his face softened into something almost friendly, fingertips brushing against the glass between them. "Thanks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this is coming or how long it will be. But I hope you are enjoying the ride.


	5. Chapter 5

Barnes was lounging in the oversized chair Howard had procured for him, legs thrown over the arms, feet idly kicking in a way she very much thought reminded her of Julian.

He was easing into this new life, as uneasy as it might at times make him.

"Barnes. Come over here and put your hand on the glass." Howard said, not even making it through the door frame before he was babbling orders.

Barnes startled, but got up and slunk closer. He hesitated - though he tried not to telegraph it - and let his hand rest against the glass as Howard attached a little dial, making adjustments and muttering to himself. "My boy made this, can you believe it? He's a genius when he decides to apply himself."

She stood from her desk to watch him, catching James' amused look as Howard fiddled with the device. "Did you tell him that?"

Howard scoffed. "What, and have him get kicked out of school again? I'll tell him he's a genius when he stops acting like a fool - There we are."

Readings spread over the glass, heart beat, blood pressure, all taken in a flash.

Barnes pulled his hand back, but the information remained.

"I could build an entire cell out of this stuff." Howard remarked, knocking on the glass.

"Reminds me of the aquarium Steven 'n I'd pay a nickle for when we was kids." Barnes muttered, hand tucked against his side, clearly uncomfortable.

"This should give us some better insight as to what is going on in your head. Almost as good as reading your thoughts. It can help us map where the damage is so we can reverse it." Howard looked extraordinarily pleased with himself.

She kept her arms crossed, frowning at her long time friend. "Howard, you really should tell Tony you like what he made."

Howard gave an explosive sigh. "He's not a kid, Peg, he doesn't need me to ooh and aww over his art project."

She grit her teeth, and caught Barnes sliding her a cautious look that Howard was either oblivious to or didn't care to notice. "It was an anti-gravity machine, not an 'art project' and he was six. N.A.S.A is still trying to reverse engineer it because Tony was too upset that you didn't come to the presentation to build any others. One of these days, Howard, you are going to die. We're neither of us immortal, and all Tony will remember about you is how many times you called him a fool."

Howard shrugged a bit, still fiddling with the device and not looking at her. "We both missed a few plays, Peg, it's part of the job. You know that."

"A few plays? Howard, you didn't even know where he went to school." She pointed out, irritated.

"I knew where he went to school. I signed the checks. I get enough of this from my wife. Can we talk about the problem at hand?"

She caught Barnes' eye, and grimaced expressively.

Barnes seemed to be caught between amusement and a quiet sort of fear.

"So how is rebuilding my arm going?" Barnes asked, after a very dangerous sort of silence.

Howard perked up, and started talking about his latest test, clearly excited.


	6. Chapter 6

Her hand stopped just above the light switch, eyes narrowing as she picked up a noise in the otherwise silent lab. 

Excited, young voice, answered occasionally by a short, deep response from Barnes.

Her hand dropped to her hip, safety flicked off with a practiced move of her thumb. She stepped out of her shoes, mincing very slowly through the building. The security system had been armed, and the guard had not reported any issues. Barnes had been sleeping on his last check in with the man. 

But now there were voices, a conversation. 

She moved silently through the lab, listening to try to pick up the content as she came closer to the reinforced door - which was open, now, no longer locked and sealed. 

She angled her body to prevent a clear line of sight, looking through the crack. 

Barnes was sitting on a stool, the door to his cell wide open while a small, familiar figure chatted at him and seemed to be working on his shoulder. 

She pushed opened the security door slowly, and caught Barnes' quiet, almost smile as he registered her presence. 

The little person on the floor was entirely oblivious. 

"Tony." She said slowly, standing in the doorway to Barnes' cell.

Tony jump, swore, and then immediately looked horrified. "Did I burn you? Eddie is he still stable?!" 

"His brain activity has not changed, Mister Stark." A slow, robotic voice reported. 

"It's fine. I've had worse." Barnes said, dismissive. 

"Tony." She repeated, hands on her hips. 

He turned to her, guilty smile on his lips. "You're early, Aunt Peggy....."

She raised an eyebrow. "Did your father let you in here or did you hack his email again?"

Tony looked at the floor. 

"Tony. We've talked about this. Aren't you meant to be in school?" She scolded mildly, glancing at Barnes. 

Barnes was quiet, fingers drumming lightly against his foreleg. 

"Fall break. We get those. I finished all of my projects early and thought I would see what dad was doing with Eddie." He nodded to the dial on the wall.

"Eddie?" She looked at the wall dial.

"Good Morning." The same slow, robotic voice replied.

"So a diagnostics engine isn't any good if you can't understand what it is trying to tell you. I thought I'd start up with that robo-doc thing again. From my thesis? And well, when I asked Eddie his status he told me about him - " Tony nodded to Barnes. "And I....sortofhackeddadsprojectsandrealizedIknewhowtobuildit."

She narrowed her eyes slightly, staring at the teen. "Tony."

His foot nudged something on the floor. An arm, a very human looking arm. "I built it. The internal framework is Vibranium , the connecting wires are copper coated with vibraniam - it's not great at conducting. It should pick up sensation like normal skin, and short of dropping it in a volcano or prolonged exposure to acid, he shouldn't be able to mess it up. Plus it weighs less. Barnes was letting me try it out." 

She sighed and crossed her arms. "How long have you been coming down here?"

"Every night for a week." Barnes reported, nodding to the window. "He leaves before you usually get here."

"You were hiding him?" She frowned at James, disappointed.

"Keeping him out of bigger trouble." James shrugged. "Howard has enough other things on his plate. Without paying bail. Again."

Tony flushed. "I haven't gotten in trouble all semester." 

"So essentially, you are proving you can do better than your father at a project." She said, finally.

Tony looked guiltily at his feet. "Sorry, Aunt Peggy." 

"Where are your body guards?" She asked him sternly. 

"Uhhhh." Tony glanced at Barnes, who grinned. 

"You are a terrible influence." She told him.

"My best friend was Steve "Punching Nazis" Rogers. I'm not likely to chase kids into bed." Barnes retorted, and gave another shrug. "He was safe enough here. I haven't had an episode in three months."

"Plus I created a compound that acts like skin without the propensity for bruising and abrading. It should feel like skin too." Tony sounded a little defensive. 

"You should have talked to me before coming down here." She told him.

"You would have said no, and Dad would have thrown a fit." Tony flipped the tool in his hand, casual. "Can I finish the test run?"

She sighed, giving Barnes a look, and nodded.


End file.
